Sex Ed Video

So, it's time.

He's in the fifth grade.

And that's when we, culturally, start formal Sexuality Education.

Even though we really do need to start Sexuality Education much, much earlier here in our country. 

I'm not going to get too into the media images, or the fact that kids go through the grocery store and see the SI Swimsuit edition. Or any number of magazines, targeting folks on the gender spectrum to conform to what is considered "normal"...which we all know is really just a setting on the washing machine.

But we do start our Sex Ed pretty early in this country.

Earlier than you'd think.

Did you tell your child their gender? Or maybe told them what sex the were? Male? Female? Boy? Girl? That's Sexuality Education.

Did you tell your son he has a penis like his dad? Or your daughter she has a vagina like her mom? Sexuality Education.

Tell your toddler or older child to avoid gawking at women who are breastfeeding their infant? Sexuality Education. And an awesome opportunity to teach manners in that it's impolite to stare. Because women in Washington State do have a right to openly breast feed in public. So, whip that boob out and feed that baby, ladies! (Please check your own state laws before breastfeeding in public.)

Did ya teach your kid they are in charge of their bodies and to know the scientific names of their body parts (vagina, clitoris, penis, scrotum)? Sexuality Education. By the way, research shows that when kids know the scientific names of their body parts, they are more empowered, have higher self-esteem, and less likely to become victims of sexual abuse. And nobody wants their kid to be sexually abused.

So empower your kids! And why not just call a spade a spade? I mean, you call an arm an arm; and you call a kidney a kidney...so why not call a penis a penis? Why call a penis a "private"? Is it in the Army or something? Or "dick"? I suppose if you're going to act like one...yeah...but seriously? Can we stop with the "wee-wees" and the "wankers" and the "who-whos" and the "ya-yas"?! Seriously. It's oppressive.

And why in the goddam are all the nicknames for penises such cutesy bullshit and the nicknames for women's vaginas are totally fuckin' crude? For example, Joystick, Mr. Happy, One Eyed Trouser Snake.

Fucking Christ. That's me making an exclamation, and not what we call Randy's Candy. Just to clarify.

Conversely, vaginas are also known as the Bearded Clam, Cock Holster, and, everyone's favorite, Cunt. Goddamnit. See what I'm saying? I mean, Camel Toe is more offensive to me than cunt. The word cunt doesn't offend me. But people who behave like cunts offend me.

Please. Can we just stop with the shenanigans of calling our genitals what they are not? I don't even like the word genitals. Seriously. It's as if our genitals are gentle...and with all due respect, my pussy has taken a pounding and it's squeezed out two babies, but not at the same time...so my pussy is not gentle...and doesn't need to be confused with a gentile...or a genital. It's a vagina. Keep it simple.

And, this would probably be a good time to tell you that when my son who is 8-11/12 was about 3, and out at the preschool at the east end of the county, he'd sit in the back seat, 5-point-harnessed in, and see how many times he could say vagina before we got to school. Seriously. It was his favorite word, clearly his father's son. He said it hundreds of times in the 20 minutes it took us to get to school. And, let's be honest, vagina is a LOT more fun to say than penis. Right? Vagina!

Anyway....

Back to Sexuality Education...

If, by chance, you didn't discuss the above mentioned topics, you're still totally conducting Sexuality Education in the way that seems right for you. You're just using the "don't talk about it because they're never going to have sex anyway" approach, also known as Denial.

But that approach doesn't work for me. Because, guess what? I expect that at some point in each of their lives, my children will become sexually active. So, if I just bury my head in the sand and not deal with this, then my kids are not going to have my values and my information, which I know is reliable because being a Health Educator is what I've done for over 20 years...and, as a parent, it's important to me and my husband that our own children know what the heck is going on in their own body as they start to go through puberty.

Also they need to have an idea that women go through puberty and that really, women have highly specialized reproductive needs compared to men. Right? We need pads and tampons. If we're lucky. According to the United Nations, women in developing nations don't have the luxury of pads and tampons...and are even dropping out of school because of their periods.

Lemme say that again: women around the world are dropping out of school because they menstruate. Stigma: menstrual blood is seen as "unclean" but really, a woman's value is all in how tight her pussy is, so that she can snatch (if you will) a higher bride price. And if her family sends her to school once she starts menstruating and she ends up getting raped, which would ultimately be her fault anyway, because everyone knows we blame the victim when she's raped, she won't be worth as much money and will ultimately bring shame to her family. So, just stay home and bleed.

Oh for fuck's sake. Tell her like it really is: she's in charge of her vagina. And she's in charge of her vulva. Don't be cutting that up with a piece of glass! Motherfuckers.

Perhaps not shockingly, stigma is also alive here in the States. Did you know we have a Tampon Tax? No shit. Click the link. Read the article. Watch the YouTube video. The model is stunning. You're welcome.

And, let's be honest: she's in charge of the penises, too. The hetero penises; just to clarify and to be inclusive. The sooner the penises realize that the vaginas are running the show, the happier we'll all be. Vagina! (Say it loud and say it proud!)

Ok. I'm done. I'm stepping down off my soapbox and returning you to your regularly scheduled blog post: Sex Ed Video, which, conveniently, will be shown to the fifth graders at school tomorrow. I'm concerned how this will go. Because my son, who is chronologically 11-1/2, but intellectually about 5, is going to be included when his male Gen Ed classmates go down the hall to watch the Sex Ed Video. And let's face it, they're all gonna giggle. Hopefully the giggling remains...intact...if you will. My concern lies not only in how he's going to react, because I saw all the triggers...all the giggle causers...and I know it's his response to being uncomfortable...but I also am working on recognizing that, like his pediatric neurologist said a couple of weeks ago...my son's delays and resulting behaviors are not a fault of mine...I do not have his permission to own my son's lack...of...development...he's his own person.

I watched the video because YouTube has it. And because the teacher sent the link. And the principal sent a letter. I liked it. The video. I mean the letter was lovely, too. But the video was well done. The actors were all kids, they used matter-of-fact tones, and product placement was very strategic...Procter and Gamble...you slippery vixen!

And it was paid for by the Tampon Tax. Just kidding. But it's kinda funny because it's made by Always Feminine Products, you guys.

Anyway, here you go...The Sex Ed Video the kids are watching. 

And thanks for reading.
<3 xoxo