learn something new

You guys, I've been on lock down with my boys for 19 months. 

Remember early on in the pandemic, the #2020Lockdown...back in March 2020?

floss everyday

Before everything really went to shit? 

Yeah, anyway, people all over the world were all like, "let's learn new things, you guys!" 

I decided I wanted to learn how to floss.

Not my teeth. 

I do that every night. 

For real. 

Because I want an A at every dental visit, you guys.

flossing

I wanted to learn the dance. 

Seriously.

When my younger son was in second grade, flossing was the thing. 

Like, at pick-up after school everyday, he'd patiently wait while I chatted with the other moms, and to amuse himself, he'd floss. 

Then when his older brother would arrive a few minutes later, the boys would beat the shit out of each other, for which I would apologize to the other parents because my kids are the worst, obviously...and we'd have to leave quickly. 

Fucking children.

Over the past four years, I've tried flossing, but haven't been whats called a Strong Flosser.

And, when presented the opportunity, I use my graceless flossing to embarrass my children.  

dabbing

I mean, duh!

Of course, dabbing was also some kind of thing in the second grade.

As a seasoned Gen-Xer, who repeatedly watched and danced along with, Thriller as a child, I...

a) mastered that move on my first attempt.

b) need the challenge of crossing the brain mid-line.

c) know it means something different in the world of marijuana.

d) all of the above are true.

It's D, you guys. 

Just so you know. 

I'm that cool. 

For real. 

But, here we are, nearly two years into being together every single day, and my now 7th grader decides to tell me I gotta swing my arms and hips in opposite directions. 

So, on the one hand, I can now floss, which is fabulous. 

On the other hand, we don't go anywhere and I have zero opportunity to embarrass my children with my stellar dance moves. 

Yes, I can have a living room dance party. 

But it's not the same.

So I'm on to bigger goals: floss walking. 

floss walking

 

This way, when we go somewhere, I can make a statement with my exit, you guys. 

Even if it's the grocery store. 

Not only am I learning something new, I'm seizing every opportunity to embarrass my children. 

Because that's always fun!