I also took a long hot shower, scrubbed my entire body with exfoliating gloves, because, you know, intense self care is imperative and it makes me fantasize about scrubbing cancer away. I also shaved my legs, and used all the hot water. Because I'm an adult and I can.
I changed my toe nail polish from "ice queen blue" to "Wonder Woman Yellow." Not that they're really called that. I made those up because I'm clever, and use polish to reflect my moods. Wonder Woman Yellow is appropriate because tomorrow starts an intense week for my family. Randy starts back to chemo on Wednesday. And I'm going with him. Because he needs me to be there. Duh. Like this is a question. Right?
Anyway, the other simple pleasures of the day include:
Ensuring everyone who needs medication got their medications.
Everyone ate as healthy as possible, let it be liquids or solids.
I changed the sheets on our bed and washed our quilts and put them back on the bed. Randy was able to help supervise, which was huge!
Randy actually had the strength to get out of bed and watch some tv, both with and without the boys. More than one episode of "The Twilight Zone" tends to make them scatter.
I had the opportunity to feed Randy several times throughout the day and while the mechanical aspects are smoothing out, the emotional intensity is not much different than making love: It's very intimate, with a mixture of both pleasure and sadness.
We spent a good chunk of the day propped up in bed, coloring. It helps pass the time as the thickish smoothies use gravity to drain the syringe into the tube and into his stomach. We have learned that if the smoothies are too thin, it goes in too fast and his stomach gets upset.
We are slowly picking ourselves up and we are moving forward. Who knew we'd be so thankful for such simple pleasures: showers, television, food. But also, I am thankful that my body works the way I need it to. I am thankful I am able to throw some nutrient dense foods into the vitamix and whip up several meals for Randy in one session. I'm thankful I'll be at the appointment with the nutritionist on Tuesday at the cancer center, with my husband, so I can learn more about his specific needs and how to help him better. I am thankful for friends who help us.
I am choosing to end my evening by relieving stress and anxiety: smoking an Indica, practicing yoga, and going to sleep.