When Mrs. Ventura asked me, quite a while ago, to write a paper about my experiences at Phoenix Dragon Martial Arts, of course I said yes.
But then I started thinking about it and didn't know what to write about. It's rather challenging to compact 8-1/2 years into a paper. Because, really, this is the first thing my sensei has ever formally asked me to do, so I didn't want to mess it up, you guys.
I started asking myself what to write about....
Do I write about the time, way back in January 2011, when I started taking Cardio Kickboxing classes at night to take a much needed break from my two young sons? That class resulted not only in a healthier version of me, but I met a lot of really cool people who also felt it was acceptable to hit and kick bags for stress relief and exercise.
What about the spring of 2011, when my boys and I did the "Mommy and Me" class? We all know Mrs. V would never call it that, but it was that type of structure. They were a bit too young, at the ages of 4 and 2...so we waited. At the time, my older son had recently been diagnosed with epilepsy, and needed a safe space to exercise; his pediatric neurologist was very firm on me not letting him climb without a net, swing without being harnessed in, or swim without a life jacket and an adult within arms reach. The doctor explained it usually isn't the seizure that kills a person, it's the fall from a play set that can break their neck. If he seized while swimming, he could drown. I felt the dojang, which is what the school is called, was a safe place since he'll be playing and learning on a padded mat, and he'll be learning how to defend himself should the need arise.
Do I write about the time my kids were sometimes the only kids on the mat, and in order for Mrs. V to get them to stand where they needed to be when they were in line, she took colored electrical tape and put it on her mat. She grabbed their favorite colors and made a green X for my older son to stand on, and a purple X for my younger son to stand on. Mrs Ventura ordered them to stand in fighting stance, with their left foot at the top of the left side of the X, and their right foot at the bottom of the right side of the X. She's brilliant. It worked.
And, this all happened before the mural on the far wall.
Oh, wait, what about writing about the time in August 2012 when I joined the Venturas, and a group of pretty cool teammates, down in Washougal for the Spartan Race. Why in the world would I choose run a 3-mile obstacle course race through the mud? I don't even like running. Like, there's a joke that's been around for years: I should just jump on a Segway...because I seriously hate running...and cheer Mrs. V and her team on...with a bullhorn, so I don't strain my vocal chords.
Maybe I should write about that time that Mr. Ventura told me my roundhouse kick is pretty powerful and suggested I start Hapkido. So I did. And I eventually learned how to throw people...helping me to feel like I was the most powerful woman in the world. Even though we all know Mrs. Ventura is; she could take you from here.
Or should I consider writing about the time my older son was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder at the age of six, the same year I ran the Spartan, and about a month before I turned 40...? Do I write about the incredible support my senseis, the Venturas, gave me and my family during that time? When my teacher, Mrs Ventura didn't wear her doboq (uniform) and was simply my friend, Meghan, who literally let me ugly cry on her shoulder a LOT that time in the fall of 2012 because what happens to a kid who has epilepsy and autism? What will his world look like? I have a son who is developmentally disabled. I teach Health at Peninsula College. I know that research shows that people who are disabled are more likely to be victims of crime, including sexual assault. So, part of the reason my kids study Hapkido is to protect themselves and reduce their chances of becoming a statistic. I do not know if there has been research regarding the siblings of people with developmental disabilities being the victims of crime, but I think it's safe to say that my younger son is also at risk of being bullied because of his brother's disabilities.
In the winter of 2015, my son started having drop seizures at school. A drop seizure is when someone has a seizure and falls. What if he hits his head on a desk? Or the floor? What if the impact from the hit causes a concussion? His brain is already fragile. What if a seizure causes him to fall so hard that he hits his head and dies? Nope. We pulled him. He needed to be in a safer environment and the result was homeschooling him. Not up for negotiation. Don't argue a health issue with a college Health instructor. The Venturas have homeschooled their daughter for years, and were supportive in the decision my husband and I made regarding our son. He started attending homeschool Hapkido classes. It felt like the right decision at the time.
And then about a week after we started homeschooling him, I did the first breast self exam I'd done in years, and found a lump. A mammogram and ultrasound-guided needle biopsy proved my lump to be breast cancer. I had a lumpectomy, chemo, and radiation. Yes, I homeschooled my son with developmental disabilities through it all. There were times I'd take my son to the homeschooling classes at PDMA,
and just go lay down on the futon in Mrs. Ventura's office; the side
effects of chemo left me so exhausted, it was all I could do to get my
son to classes.
Six months after I completed radiation treatments, my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 tonsil cancer,
caused by Human Papillomavirus (HPV). He spent the summer of 2016 going
through surgeries in Seattle, and twenty-some radiation treatments and a few
chemotherapy treatments in Sequim.
In June 2017, about 2 weeks before school was out for the summer, my younger son fell off the monkey bars at school, breaking his arm and spent the summer in a full-arm cast. But he was on the mat, with Mrs. V supporting him and giving him lots of different ways to still practice Hapkido.
The teaching-learning style that the Venturas have established for all students have served my family well.
The dojang was my go-to for sanity. It is a safe place for my children. Over the years, Phoenix Dragon Martial Arts has become an oasis for me. When we entered the school way back in January 2011, my family dealt with one health issue. As we kept getting hit with the myriad health issues we did, being on the mat allowed me to check all of the health issues at the door, even if only for an hour or so.
We incorporate Hapkido philosophy into our everyday life, one of them
being respect. When my younger son started playing the violin in the
fourth grade, he immediately wanted to use his bow as a weapon...and the
first thing I said was "treat your bow and instrument like it's Mrs.
Ventura's bokken (sword)" and he stopped. Immediately. There is no more weapons with violins in my home. My constant question of "What would Mrs. Ventura say?" was never asked on this particular topic.
Intrinsically, I know that the time I've spent on the mat has
been one of the best forms of physical and mental health care I've been
able to provide myself, and my family. This place helped me, mentally, get through breast cancer, helped me get my husband through tonsil cancer, helps me with parenting two boys who, by the nature of what we deal with as a family, need a little more support than other kids do. The support my husband and I receive in parenting our two, not only from the Venturas, but from the amazingly supportive friends we've made because of Phoenix Dragon Martial Arts, have been like nothing else. It truly takes a village...or a tribe...or a group of Warriors...to survive this crazy life.
And I am so thankful to have found mine.
This post was also published on Phoenix Dragon Martial Arts blog.
