Tuesday, October 4, 2016

The G Tube Is Out!

So, it was inevitable.

Thank Jesus, the goddamned G Tube Randy Anderson had in his stomach came out today.


Because it was leaking last week. AGAIN!

But I didn't take him to the ER this time. Because, fortuitously, he had an appointment with the Awesome PA at the Sequim Cancer Center. So, he saw her; and she had the Main Woman come in. She's our Medical Oncologist, and she's a bad ass, and she cultured the stuff that was leaking out of his stomach, and it turns out that it wasn't infected. Thank the Sweet Baby Jesus. Because you don't need to have a goddamned infection in the hole that goes directly into your fucking stomach! RIGHT!??! Oh for fuck's sake....

Anyway, so we saw the Main Lady Surgeon at OMC today. I call her that because she removed a lime-sized tumor from my right breast in March 2015. And, as far as my family goes, I'm ok with her laying hands on them and cutting them open. She's a professional and knows what she's doing. And, just for the record, NO, the Main Lady Surgeon was not the one who attempted to put Randy's chemo port in back in June. That was her colleague...he who shall not be named.

But in the exam room today, the Main Lady Surgeon, who is lovely, was like, "Hello! It's good to see you both! But not...kinda. So, let's get that tube outta your stomach, Mr. Anderson!"

And Randy Anderson was like, "Um, no way you guys."

And The Main Lady Surgeon was all, "well, the Main Woman over at the Cancer Center has been texting me and she says it need to come out. And your weight is stable and you're eating and so let's just get this done! Yes. Right now. Here. Sit down on the table and....take some deep breaths...and there you go! It's out!"

It was out.

It was really that easy.

Well, from my perspective. I wasn't the one having a tube with a balloon on the end removed from my stomach.

I honestly was expecting a pop or at least a bigger balloon on the end of the tube. It was rather anticlimactic. 

OH! But she put some kind of stuff on his skin, to help the hole heal up. Typically the hole in a person's stomach tends to start to close in a couple of hours. And the hole in the skin can also repair pretty rapidly, anywhere from a few days to a couple of weeks; everyone is different. She didn't use stitches. And I'm not a physician, and I'm not gonna pretend to be one. So, can any physicians or nurses out there please tell me what she probably put on his skin to close up the hole? (Thanks!) He said it kinda burned a bit. I told him it was acid. But he didn't think it was funny.

Also, the Main Lady Surgeon said he gets to eat lots of ice cream, so we went to Safeway and stocked up on the fancy stuff...Ben and Jerry's...and Haagen Dazs.  Because at this point in life, I'm gonna treat us to that. Especially when he's under Doctor's Orders.