Friday, January 8, 2016

Changing a Norm

I'm working on changing a norm.

I've done it before, when I was the Tobacco Prevention Queen.

I mean, Tobacco Prevention and Control Specialist for Clallam County Health and Human Services. Basically, the State of Washington had a shitload of money from the Master Settlement Agreement, had an effective statewide program that kicked ass, and we passed I-901, which became RCW 70.160 and it prohibits smoking within 25 feet of a door, window that opens, or air intake system. So, since December 1, 2005, we've had this law in Washington that protects the health of the people from the known carcinogen secondhand smoke (SHS).

Badassery at it's finest.

Approved by the will of the people, who passed the Initiative in all 39 counties. Huge win for Public Health. Huge win for the Tobacco Prevention and Control Programs. Huge win for kids--because, really, it's all about the children. They don't have to walk through smoke. Nasty. The reason kids are more susceptible to the effects of SHS is because their respiration rates are faster than an adults. So, the faster you breathe, the more likely you are to develop negative health effects, like asthma, bronchitis, and other respiratory ailments.

You can spin anything "about the children"......

So...about my children...........

Wii. I hate the fucking Nintendo Wii.

Don't get me wrong, I think there's a time and a place for video games.

Especially when I'm kicking ass in Super Mario Bros. 

Going Old School, yo. 

But seriously, I'm tired of being plugged in.
Ironic for an on-line teacher.....


I'm tired of the boys being plugged in.
I need to work...can you guys occupy yourselves for a bit, please...??
I'm so fucking tired and stressed and need a break....
Here...work together....!
Be a team....!
YES! Defeat Vader!
Look out for the snakes, Indy! 
Great job there, Luke!
Innnndyyyyy!!!!! The torch is going out.....!!!! 


I'm tired of the fights.
You have five more minutes....
I know you've been playing for an hour....
It's time to be done. 
Save the game or the consequence it the Wii gets turned off....
If you save the game, you can start at this spot the next time you play....
I don't know if you'll play tomorrow.....


The meltdowns.
If you were to just fucking eat....
You have to fucking eat.  
I know you said you ate....
But the goddamned goldfish crackers are not a strong food....
And neither is the white cheddar popcorn....
I know Grannma says "I don't care what you eat, just eat something!" And for the most part that's true. But you're not gonna live on goldfish and white cheddar popcorn. Eat a goddamned apple and peanut butter for fuck's sake!


The tension.
Tight muscles....
Randy's voice...
His neck...
His back....
The speech therapist said his voice will come back if we can reduce the stress.... 
My breast still aches...the doc says it probably always will.... 
My left hip and low back still hurts. My pelvis is locked up.

The stress.
Reduce the stress...
Give them a lesson!
Teach the boys the difference between distress and eustress.... 
Goddamnit I'm brilliant!
Distress is bad stress, like fighting over the Wii.
Eustress is good stress, like....
Who can give me an example of a eustress?
I: going to school...?
Yes! Because going to school is fun, but it can be a little stressful, too, in a good way...you get to see your friends...you get to learn...you get to play.

It's distressful for me when I have to spoon feed you your yogurt while you are in the tub. You're nine. You need to feed yourself. Be responsible. You want to play Wii? Be. Responsible.  
A eustress is when you're able to feed yourself, flush as soon as the poop comes out, don't clog the toilet, and you wipe your own ass. And can you start washing your own hair and body while you're at it. Why are you crying? The bottle says its TEAR FREE shampoo and body wash!!!! Fuck you autism. Fuck you developmental delays. Fuck you, too, epilepsy. Just, while I'm here, you know. Fuck. You. Brain. Disorders. 


That the fucking Nintendo Wii creates.
What can we do instead of video games...?
I: Go to zipline park!
N: Watch a show!
Me: Great ideas! Nathan, what can we do besides watch TV? 
Silence....
Breathe....
Yoga....
Hapkido....
Take a bath....
Read a book....
Color....
Sew....
Create....
Have faith in yourself, Anderson....
Have hope that you will change the culture in your own home....
Do this peacefully.....
Be loving.....
Set your intention...
They are only children....
It's like pushing rope....
And pulling a bulldozer....
All...at....the......same........time........

Be responsible.
Earn the screen time.
Earn the Wii.
Earn the privilege.

Just please stop the yelling....the fighting...the being mean and pushing buttons just to see what will happen. Because Mommy and Daddy are fried. We're chicken fried steak with a side of French fries. And deep fried ice cream for dessert. 

But we're doing the best we can...to change the norm.

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