Normal Converstaion

Had you been listening:

Me: What did you do today, dude?

Hubs: Grade calculus. What did you do?

Me: Made an educational video for my Human Sexuality Students about the importance of butt plugs having a base so they don't get sucked up into a person's colon and then they have to go to the hospital and get it removed. I'm all about prevention.

Hubs: Nice. I presume you also discussed the importance of lube?

Me: Totes, dude. Lube is always the answer. Lube prevents rips and tears.

14: Mom, seriously. This isn't awesome. 

Me: Do you realize how many teenagers wish their mothers talked openly about butt plugs? And sexuality?

14: No. Did you do a survey?

Me: No, Mr. Snappy Pants, I didn't do a survey because I haven't written a proposal and/or gone before the Institutional Review Board. But I might. Maybe I'll ask the Boss Lady when I see her for our meeting. 

14: MOM! 

Me: Well, in this instance, I'll ask permission and not forgiveness. And that is hard for me.

Hubs: Did you do a demo in your video? 

Me: I did not. I talked it through with some pictures. 

Hubs: Well, on the one hand, that's disappointing. But on other hand, that's great! What pictures did you use? 

Me: This one, which I'm only now realizing is labeled incorrectly. It's labeled Beginner to Expert, but they need to flip the pic and start with the small one.

Hubs: Yeah that huge one is probably going to intimidate people. 

Me: Probably. 

14: MOM! Please! Stop. 

Me: Dude, some people are into anal pleasure. Try not to judge. Sex is only as weird as you make it. 

Hubs: what else did you teach your students?

Me: I showed them a cross section of a female so they could understand that, indeed, our colons are designed to keep stuff in. Our colons are kind of of like a vacuum. You don't wanna be walking down the street and have your poop fall out. That would be sad. 

Hubs: Very sad.

14: MOM! 

Me: Dude, you have options. You can leave the room. You can not listen. You can turn your music up. You can practice your ignoring skills.

Hubs: I have stellar ignoring skills.

Me: You do indeed.

Hubs: But I don't ignore sex. 

Me: You do not.

14: You guys are gross.

Me: You know how you were created, right? Like Daddy ejaculated inside of my vagina and his sperm joined with my egg and--

14: I can't.

16: You can.

Hubs: Wear a condom.

Me: And communicate with any potential sexual partner.

14: Stop.

Me: And use lube. Lube is always the answer.

16: And be kind and wonderful. 

Me: Exactly. Be kind and wonderful. 

The Costco Whisperer

I have not dismissed them. They are my parents after all. I have an incredible amount of love for them. 

And a stitch of compassion.

While my husband and our children and I are geographically isolated, I have not abandoned my folks.

When the stay at-home orders caused by the COVID-19 pandemic started in March 2020, my dad, who is an aging Baby Boomer, was understandably very worried about leaving the house. While we didn't know much, we knew COVID was capable of rapidly spreading between people. At the time, most of us were watching as seniors in nursing homes were rapidly dying in large numbers.  Because of science, and the importance of knowing our nation's health history, we know that when community-based illness hit, the young and the old are the most vulnerable. My folks are in a larger city and my dad was on high alert about contracting COVID and meeting his maker. 

Because, then what would happen to Mom? Not that she'd been diagnosed yet. Shhh, don't talk about it, you guys. Remember? #iCulturallyReferenceMyself

sometimes I'm brilliant

At the start of the shutdown, there was also understandable anxiety, and over the first couple of weeks, I had several long talks with my folks. 

They always have me on speakerphone. It's not my favorite but I roll with it, you guys.

In one of our conversations I offered to help them by placing their Costco orders. Online. Because the Internet is awesome like that. 

While I do come from the oppressively misogynistic culture that is the Sonoran Desert, I'm also an adult.

Ultimately, I was happy to help ensure that they at least had enough essentials to survive. I mean, I saw 28 Days Later, you guys. You know what I'm sayin'?

I'm saying that at that point in time, we were coming together as Americans and making sure that we each hoarded as much goddamn toilet paper as we could possibly hoard! 

RIGHT?! #ToiletPaperCrisis2020

Over the past 16+ months, I've had more in-depth phone conversations with my dad...who I love very much...about the different softness levels of toilet paper, than a person ever really needs to in their lifetime. 

Scott toilet paper is no longer something he can use: "It's like sandpaper, ya know what I'm saying?"

Yet, Charmin is too fancy for him. "That's for people with really tender a-holes. I'm not that person. I'm a little tougher than that. I'm a quarter Mexican."

Me: Got it, Dad.

Him: I  mean, I don't have hemorrhoids, or nothin'. I've had hemorrhoids. They are not fun. Did ya ever have hemorrhoids?

Me: Yes, I've had hemorrhoids, Dad. I've been pregnant twice. 

#JesusDad

Him [silence]: Anyway. Do they have the Kirkland brand of TP? That's between Scott and Charmin. It's like a five. On a scale of one to ten, ya know what I'm sayin? It'll do. Get me a couple packages of Kirkland toilet paper if they got it. I mean, they've gotta have it. It's Costco. It's their own brand."

Thank you, Kirkland, for making Dad Approved TP. 

Me: Dad, Costco does have Kirkland toilet paper, but they have a limit on one case. The case contains a total of 30 rolls of toilet paper.

everyone poops

Him: Okay. That'll be fine. As long as your mother or I don't get diarrhea...? I mean, I'll go out sometimes. I gotta get to the lab once a month for my blood draw.

Me: Dad, I got it! One case of Kirkland toilet paper! What else do you need?   

#FocusDad

Him: Ha! I was joking about getting diarrhea! It's not like we're leaving the house. We'll be fine.

Humor always helps, you guys. #PoopJokeFTW

Him: Get two cases, though.

Me: But, Dad, there's a one case limit on toilet paper. I'll check other online retailers and if I find something that's not horribly expensive, I'll arrange for it to be sent. 

Him: That'd be great. Keep checking Costco, too, though. I mean you're on the computer a lot more than me. 

Me: Dad, do you have a computer?

Him: No. I was joking.

I also told my dad that I know he and mom are on a fixed income, and to help, we could also help contribute to the expense of my parents' bimonthly Costco bill. My husband and I were both incredibly lucky, and very very thankful, to both have employment during the shutdown. #gratitude

But Dad sternly refused. "I can pay my own way," he said. "There may be a time where I'm not gonna be able to pay my own way and then you can pay my way. But right now, I'm paying for this. No. But thank you."

Me: Got it, Dad. And you're welcome. I'm happy to be able to help you and Mom with the Costco ordering online. The order has been placed and will be to your home within two hours.

Mom: That's amazing! Thank you, Rachel.  

Me: You're welcome, Mom. 

Today I am thankful Mom still knows my voice.

Over time, we worked out a system where I called once each week, and if I needed to be The Costco Whisper, then I'd place their order...and as if by magic...or perhaps a series of tubes...within a couple of hours, their purchase would be delivered to their door and unloaded into their garage by the Instacart shopper.

And, by the way, Dad, we always always always over-tip service people who are working during a respiratory pandemic. This is an incredible service folks are providing. Let's be thankful for the opportunity to help keep people employed. Because, really, we don't know what they are dealing with, but we are sure thankful to see them with all of our stuff. Seriously, you guys. #gratitude

Elsa letting it go

After the delivery was made and unloaded by the Instacart shopper onto the folding table in the garage, my dad proceeded to then wipe everything down with an anti-germ wipe and let it dry (his choice; let it go). He then brought his items inside and put everything away.

Then he'd call me. I'd ask him how the delivery went and made sure all items were delivered. I'd also give him the total amount of the bill, including the tip being agreed upon in the first phone call when I placed the order.

Sometimes he'd tell me to tip a couple of bucks extra and his feedback would be, "She was a real nice gal." 

Other times he'd provide me a commentary on the Instacart shopper's cuteness, but in a super sly way: "It's a hot one out today, so I slipped her an extra ten bucks."

To clarify, that roughly translates to "it's 100 degrees out today and that gal was so foxy she could have been in a 1980's ZZ Top video." 

Instacart women of the Sonoran Desert are so attractive they make men weak. That's a serious Super Power, you guys.

Me: Dad, I am paying for everything on my credit card. But, yes, go ahead and tip the cute ones extra cash if you need to.

Him: I'm an old man, honey. I'm not dead. Yet. 

Me: It's all good, Dad. No worries.

He'd then tell me when he was planning to mail the check, complete with a list of stops the mail would make between our cities, and predictions of when I should look for it in my post office box. 

He's usually pretty accurate. 

You guys, maybe my Dad could be The Mail Whisperer.  

 

Tuesday March 17, 2020

As is becoming the norm, things are moving fast, and projections are starting to become ominous. Like that school may be out for forever. 

And that the State of Washington won't give Clallam County any test kits until we have a positive test. What the actual fuck? Here. I don't know if these guys would know anything, or be able to do anything, but it may worth your time to email to our County Commissioners, as well as our the good men who represent the 24th Legislative District: Mike Chapman, Steve Tharinger, and Kevin Van De Wege. 

If you want to make change in your community, do it. Stand up. For all of us.

Oh, and ask them about passing a bill that make sure people can't get evicted for not paying rent, or foreclosed upon, since our entire society is shutting down. Thanks.

Annnnyyywaaaayyyy.....

Nathan's feeling ok; his left shoulder is sore and he's got a nasty bruise on his leg, and his head is ok. Thanks to everyone for reaching out. We sincerely appreciate the support.

Isaac and I got outside for quite some time today. He did some swinging, like he does. He catches some serious air.

I worked on spreading the mulch with a shovel and a rake. We talked about what happened yesterday, and how important it is to have extra awareness right now, and stay away from the hospital as much as we can. Don't be a dumbass and do stupid kid stuff, boy child. Youngling. #YChromosome

Speaking of which, a dear friend of mine had a mammogram this morning, and is fine. Her text about how it went prompted me to call the imaging center to confirm my own appointment for Thursday morning, and was told to be there at my scheduled time.

Um...social distancing? I'm literally breathing the same air as the woman who is touching my breast with her pink gloved hands, putting one breast at a time onto a plate and squishing them with another plate and taking a picture of all the gross mushy red stuff inside! Hello? That's about as intimate as you can get without exchanging bodily fluids...and I sometimes leak during a mammogram bc breast cancer duh! You'd think you'd at least walk out of there with a fuckin lollipop but no. Not even a goddamn Life Saver Mint individually wrapped in plastic. Fuckin bullshit. #NoReachAround

And, yes, I realize the irony of the placement of this image of my son. #Obvs

Annnnyyywaaaayyyy.....

So, then this afternoon, my phone rings and the boys feel it is their duty to let me know, because clearly someone from the outside is trying to get in...which is rare in my world. And it was the imaging center telling me that bc of social distancing, they need to reschedule my mammogram.

That's how fast things are moving. 9am today, "Come on in! You're the next contestent on the Boob Squish Machine!"

3pm: #OfCourse they have to cancel and #ThankJesus I don't have to make that decision.

Because on the one hand, I'm at 5 years. On March 9, 2015 I was told I had breast cancer. On March 20, 2015 I had a lime-sized tumor removed from my right breast. I'm lucky in a way, because even though my type of breast cancer was the most aggressive type a young woman could have, the longer I live, the less likely this specific type of breast cancer can come back. I had a triple negative tumor, meaning that it didn't have any hormone receptors and the chemo was going to suck big time, which it did.

Yet, on the other hand, as a survivor, I know I'm supposed to have an annual mammogram to make sure that I'm not growing any new tumors. My radiation oncologist shot the shit out of my right breast...she wanted to make sure that nothing would grow again, and I know it's likely to not. And, because of all the radiation, now I am able to shoot a green laser beam from my right breast. Because duh. It's pretty hot, you guys.

On the one hand, I have anxiety about developing some type of cancer in my left breast; on the other hand, I just had a very thorough breast exam from my primary provider.

And, in reality, I'm more concerned about people I know and love contracting Coronavirus from a spreader. Please watch this 50 second clip from Max Brooks, the son of Mel Brooks. And if you don't know who these men are, then go read "World War Z" and watch "Young Frankenstein"; you're welcome.

#AndAlso, historically it may have been somewhat socially acceptable to say "you're dead to me" if someone makes a cultural reference that you don't get, or a food you've not tasted...but, in this day and age, that's horribly rude and I'm declaring it no longer funny.

#DontBeASpreader

#ThanksForReading

Love and feathers,
#MaRa

Keep Our Kids Safe

Our whole job, as parents, is to keep our kids safe. Right? I mean, we don't want to just throw them to the wolves.

Well, maybe sometimes...kinda...

So, there's a new law, RCW 46.61.687, that goes into effect on January 1, 2020 right here in Washington that affects my 10-year-old son.

And he is pissed.

Like, so pissed he's stomping around in his room yelling that laws are stupid. And making some kinda racket and his brother, who is significantly larger, is laughing up a storm....

It's kinda funny...and kinda not. I mean, I completely understand being pissed off. But I'm also mostly a dedicated law follower. Mostly. 

But this law is all about keeping our kids safe while they are passengers in moving vehicles.

Here's what the new RCW, which goes into effect on Wednesday January 1, 2020, states: 

• Children up to age 2 must be properly secured in a rear-facing car seat.

• Children ages 2-4 must be properly secured in a car seat with a harness (rear or forward facing).

• Children 4 and older and less than four feet nine inches tall must be secured in a booster seat with seat belt (or continue in harness seat).

• Children over height four feet nine inches must be secured by a properly fitted seat belt (typically starting at 8-12 years old). 

My son is affected because he is less than 4', 9" tall. Like most 10-year-olds, he's incredibly egocentric, and is taking this change in the law personally. I've explained to him that when a law to protect public health is written, a lot of research is conducted by universities, hospitals, and other agencies working together.

In this situation, research was conducted by a pediatrician named Dr. Beth Ebel,  who works at the University of Washington, and happens to study transportation safety at the Harborview Injury Prevention and Research Center. And she practices medicine at Seattle Children's Hospital.

So, she totally has her shenanigans together and she has seen a lot of kids who have had some pretty significant and life-altering injuries due to not being properly restrained when they were in an automobile accident.

She is also responsible for me secretly calling my 10-year-old "Mr. Pissedoff." He does not want to get back in a goddam booster seat, thank you very much! He was done with that shit two years ago. The previous law stated: 

Effective June 1, 2007, children less than eight years old must be restrained in child restraint systems, unless the child is four feet nine inches or taller. A child who is eight years old or older, or four feet nine inches or taller, must be properly restrained either with the motor vehicle's safety belt or an appropriately fitting child restraint system.

I've explained to my 10-year-old that the Washington State Legislature is responsible for writing and passing the law in order to keep kids safe, and that the three men who represent the 24th District are all very aware of health issues and tend to look at what the research and the data show about prevention prior to writing a bill, voting on it, and passing it.

And, then of course, the governor signs the bill, and it becomes law...just like on School House Rock.

He continued to glare at me. Because ultimately, it's my fault. Because I'm the mom.

I pointed out that most of the kids in his fifth grade class were probably going to be sporting new booster seats when school started back up in January. I told him that I can think of two, maybe three, kids in his class who are tall enough to not be in a booster seat. That this law would also be affecting some sixth graders...and maybe even a few seventh graders...?

He sustained his scowl.

I explained that the doctor who is the lead researcher and the reason the law has changed is a doctor who has seen a lot of kids get really messed up in car accidents...life-altering brain injuries, spinal cord injuries, kids end up in wheelchairs, and may not be able to feed themselves any more...let alone throw someone at Hapkido or kick a soccer ball very easily...and that really, her entire job as a pediatrician is to keep kids safe and healthy. She's not out to punish anyone or make life harder for people. That really, the whole philosophy behind injury prevention is to make it harder for people to get hurt. #Duh

He softened a bit and asked when he'll be four-foot-nine. I told him I didn't know...but probably before he gets to seventh grade.

He asked me when he'll be old enough to sit in the front. I told him that currently, the law says he needs to be 13 to sit in the front.

He asked me if I think some kids in his class will be without a booster seat, and will some kids still be allowed to sit in the front seat when they aren't supposed to.

And those parenting questions are always just tricky to answer...because you don't want to put your own judgement on another family...but the law applies to everyone...

So I said that it could be that maybe not everyone is aware of the new law...or that maybe some people aren't able to afford to get a booster seat for their kids...so those parents may need to contact Safe Kids Washington...?

It could be that maybe some people believe that they won't be in a car accident...and they're OK with taking that risk of not putting their kids in a booster seat, or in the back seat. That some people go through life thinking nothing bad will ever possibly happen to them...because that's just how some people roll...?

He said that he expects that some kids will still be allowed to sit in the front seat. I replied that probably, there will still be some kids that sit in the front seat that legally should not be...or some kids that, by law, need to be in a booster seat, but that each family will make their own decisions. In our family, we're getting you back in a booster seat, kiddo.

Forever frowning in order to get his way, he started to complain again. But I'd had enough...so I finally said that perhaps the kids who are not properly restrained aren't loved by their parents in the way that I love him. I told my seething son that if he really wanted to make a change in the world, he could contact the lead researcher...we can look up her email...and he can write her a letter in protest and explain why he believes what he does.

He looked me in the eye and said, "Nope."

And that was that.

So, I'm heading to bed because there may be a run on booster seats tomorrow.

Good night, y'all!

Love,
#MaRa

Head Bitch
Anderson Family Circus

How's It Hanging

9.5: Hey, Mom! How's it hanging?

Me: They're both hanging fine, thanks.

9.5: smiles and nods as he takes a drink of water.

Me: How's it hanging for you?

9.5: Fine, thanks.

Me: Do you know what that means?

9.5: Ummm...no….

Me: It means you’re talking about your penis.

9.5: No it doesn’t!

Me: Yes it does.

9.5: I'm never saying that again! (Pause) No it doesn’t mean that, Mom!

Me: Yes it does. Go ask Dad. Because, clearly, being a woman, I have no 
idea about penises.

9.5: DAAAAADDDD!!!!! Runs down the hall. Returns about 10 seconds later, 
running at top speed down the hallway into the kitchen.

Me: Well? What’d Daddy say?

9.5: He said it means I'm talking about penises.

Me: It’s fine to talk about penises, we just don’t need to harass anyone about penises. 
Or vaginas.

9.5: Right. Or vaginas, Mom.

Me: Thanks, I. I love you.

9.5: I love you too, Mom. 

First Snow

Mom, maybe we can sled before school.

Ok, first clean all the Legos off the floor of the playroom so that I can bring the 8-foot ladder in and to get into the attic, because I can't get in there because all the Legos are in the way. Then we can get all the snow gear down, you can sort through all the stuff and find your snow gear and get it all on. Then you can go out to the back shed and get the sleds out, but watch out for dog poop because you won't be able to see it because of the 6-inches of snow.

Mom, when do we need to leave for school?

About 9:15 because it's a 2 hour late start. 

Wait, we start at 9:45? 

Yes. That's 2 hours past the normal start time. 

MOM! We can't start at 9:45! That's when recess starts!!! We can't start school with recess!

 

Well, you'll need to address that issue with your teachers. Why can't you start school with recess?

Because it'll be indoor recess because of all the snow, Mom!

Oh. Right. Of course. 

But we're gonna play outside when we get home, right Mom? 

Yes. As long as you clean up the playroom so I can get the ladder in and get the snow gear out of the attic. 

There is a perpetual hole in the bucket, Dear Liza....

 

 

 

Hit Me

It hit me.

Everything we've been through in the last two years, in the last 6 years, hit me like a mother fucker.

February is a hard month.

Because two years ago, a lot of shit started going down. And it feels like every time I raise my head, I get hit again...and again...and again....

I keep getting up, though.

Even though life has hit me and my family incredibly hard.

I know that the color of my skin and my privileged education and status in my community look envious on the outside.

But, secretly, my family is your worst nightmare.

Because of the myriad health issues we have faced since October 2010, when our son was diagnosed with Seizure Disorder.

Then another hit, October 2012: Autism

And March 2015: huge blow of breast cancer, Stage 2. 

Then May 2016: my husband's tonsil cancer, Stage 4.

That one almost took us all down for the count.

But we survived.

And it all hit me this month.

What we've been through.

I'm having difficulty making decisions, and a lack of appetite. It's hard to decide what to feed the boys. I want to sleep a lot, I cry a lot, and I have difficulty paying attention...more than usual.

Depression has raised her ugly head again.

She's raised it higher than after each of the boys were born.

She's sticking her knife into my heart and letting it slowly bleed all over her gray hand.

Yoga: check.

Meditation: check.

Time for self: check.

Mental health therapist: check.

Antidepressants: check.

"When will it be spring?" the 10-1/2-year-old child asks.

"March 20th is the equinox," I reply.

"Not soon enough!" he yells into the still coldness of the day.

"I know dude" and think to myself, it'll be 2 years since my lumpectomy on March 20th. And my parent's 35th wedding anniversary.

"But the daffodils will bloom soon, right over there," I point to the ground, about 30 feet north of where we are standing.

Later on, I am talking with my almost 8-year-old son. He's starting to look forward to summer, making plans to go to the lake, the beaches...maybe Uncle Sammy will come up and bring Auntie Melody.

And then this amazingly bright and insightful child, who has more on his plate than any other second-grader I really know of, who is dealing with a slight cold, turns to me and says, "Mom, I hope we don't have to deal with cancer again this summer."

"Me too, dude," is the best response I can offer him, as we hug each other for comfort.

More Questions

"Dad, is this cancer thing gonna take up our whole summer?"

"Yes, son. I'm sorry."

"Mom, why does Daddy have cancer, too?"

"Because Daddy has a virus that made his cells reproduce really rapidly."

"And they had a party? Like your cells did, right?"

"Kinda, yeah. But it was a party for bad cells. They were the cells who got sent to the principal's office a lot."

"What's a virus?"

"A virus is a life form that is really really tiny, but causes people to be sick."

"Can we see it?"

"With a microscope. We can also look at pictures on the web."

"Mom, was your cancer caused by a virus?"

"It was not. We don't know exactly why my cancer happened. But we know that it's not in our DNA, which is a good thing."

"I hate cancer, Mom. It caused Pop-pop to die. And it made you really sick. And now it's going after Daddy."

"Yeah, but Daddy's gonna be a survivor, too. What can we do to help Daddy feel better?"

"I'll draw a comic book about Daddy Hapkidoing the cancer cell!"

"That's a great idea! I'm looking forward to seeing what you create!"

"But Daddy doesn't know Hapkido!"

"That's ok. You guys can help teach him Hapkido. Daddy's strong. He's going to be ok. He just needs a lot of help."

"More help than you did?"

"Yes. But also different help. I was able to drive myself to chemo and radiation. But I still needed help from our friends to care for you guys, and to help make meals, and to break up the day for Daddy when I was so sick from chemo. Being the only person responsible for making sure everything in the house gets done is tough stuff." 

"Is Daddy gonna be able to drive again?"

"Yes. But not for about 6 months."

"When will it be 6 months?"

"Well...let's count."

"July...August...September...October...November...December...January. Mom. That's a long ways away."

"It'll be after the first of the year, as long as Daddy doesn't have any more seizures."

 "I sure hope Daddy doesn't have any more seizures."

"Me, too, dude." 

"I hope this is the last summer we have to deal with cancer, Mom."

"I hope so, too, kiddo."

"Can animals get cancer?"

"Yes."

"I sure hope Abby doesn't get cancer. Especially next summer."

"I hope she doesn't either." 

"Mom...does Daddy have to go to the cancer center tomorrow?"

"No. It's Saturday. Daddy doesn't have treatment on Saturday."

"Or Sunday?"

"Not on Sunday either."

"That'll be a stay home day, right Mom? So Daddy can rest...?"

"Yes. Sunday will likely be a stay home day."

"But he'll go on Monday?"

"Yes."

"Who's gonna stay with us?"

"Well, I hope that I can stay with you and that Uncley Michael can take Daddy. I'll know more on Sunday afternoon. As soon as I know, I'll let you guys know. Ok?"

"Ok. Mom, does Daddy go to the cancer center again on Tuesday? And Wednesday? And Thursday and Friday?"

"Yes. Each day next week."
 
"Mom, does he have to go each week? For the rest of the summer?"

"Yes, dude, he does. I'm sorry. Daddy has to go to the cancer center everyday of the week, except Saturday and Sunday, for the rest of the summer."

"Mom. I feel badly for Daddy that he has to do that."

"Me, too, buddy. That's why it's especially important that we are respectful and considerate to each other. We need to help each other. And right now, Daddy needs a lot of help and patience."
 

"Mom, I love you."

"I love you, guys, too. I'm sorry we're going through this again. Your Dad and I wanted better for you. We didn't plan this. I know it's hard and that you're dealing with a lot of different emotions. I am glad we're able to talk about the challenges and hard times we're having. Thank you both for talking with me. I'm really proud of both of you and I love you."

"Past the moon, Mom?"

"Totally."

Raised By Wolves

Had you been listening...

Isaac: "Mom, can we listen to U2?"

Me: "Absolutely. Which album?"

Isaac: "Um..."

Me: "The one we've been listening to? It's called Songs of Innocence."

Isaac: "Right. Can I pick the song?"

Me: "Totally. Which one?"

I: "Raised By Wolves."

Me: "You got it."

And silently I say: Sometimes I think you are. And sometimes I am afraid you will be.

And I cue it up, trying to suppress my fear and anxiety for their sake, if only for a few minutes, as we connect in music.

And we move forward in our day. 

Thankful that the sun is out.

Thankful that we are having a stay home day.

Thankful we're together as a family.

Thankful Daddy's feeling better with lots of help.

From all of us.

Thank you.